On Wednesday I was sitting in class, and clear as day I heard the voice of the LORD say, “I want you to get baptised again. .” 

After my first baptism, I wasn’t exactly living the way a christian should.. Jesus was definitely NOT the LORD of my life.

I completely walked by my flesh and assumed that I could do whatever I wanted because God was going to forgive me regardless.. I didn’t realise that I was actually spitting in the face of God and saying His sacrifice wasn’t good enough..

I was deeply, deeply wounded by my past.. So I allowed my wounded heart and fear of abandonment to be the LORD of my life…  

 I fought against God’s will for my life and chose to put someone before Him…. But God, in His mercy never stopped loving me… He never gave up on me.. Even though I gave up on myself… He saw how broken I was, how much my heart needed to be healed, and how much my heart longed for more..

 So I built myself a “fortress” & locked God out of my heart…  I wasn’t accustomed to someone loving me so much that they would be willing to do whatever it takes to save me… I just couldn’t comprehend the fact that God says He loves me so much, that He chose to die for me….   I was not worth it but still He chose to fight for me and pursued me. He protected me, He comforted me, and reassured me… I did not deserve any of it! I didn’t know how to accept such a selfless act of love and rejected it… But He continued to woo me… He kept breaking down those walls & tending to my wounds… Gently guiding me into His will for my life…

 As I sat in class, kind of in a trance, these words rushing through my mind like a flood….God reminded me of the day I was baptised.. It was the best & one of the hardest days of my life… 

And with such a loving & gentle voice He said to me, “This time will be so different….”.  Even though I am so undeserving, He wanted to redeem my old baptism.. not because I made so many bad decisions… but because He knew how much it would mean to me….. 

 As I stood in the beautiful Hawaiian waters, with my fists to heaven, I began to shout and declare over my new life to come…  

This time was certainly different… 

A song from God’s perspective..