Part 4: Peace in the midst of a storm named anxiety: Self destruct

It was like I was smacked-dab in the middle of a storm but with a simple word from God, the area around me became calm. Though the storm billowed, raged and thundered in the distance, I was in the eye of the cyclone, with a mirror only a few feet away from where I stood. I stared into my reflection. Though I rejoiced in knowing who I am, I began to mourn from the depths of my heart for who I was.

Self discovery is a great thing but man, can you say difficult? When you understand who you are and what you were fashioned to do, you become aware of things you’ve suppressed that you are not proud of. When I started working on this post, I asked God, what it should be about. I stilled myself (as I washed the dishes) to hear what God was saying and (with much peace) He unlocked a part of my heart that was far from my mind.  The giants from my past –  giants that with Him at my side, I was able to defeat; gaining true victory from the hidden places in my memories.

Just like everyone else i’ve made poor choices. I did things that I am not proud of and honestly didn’t want to live because of the shame.. But through God I was able to not just be free but use those things I was ashamed of to draw other people into a relationship with Him. 

I had to self-destruct. I needed to let go of who I once was.

And I continue to remind myself of these truths.. 

1. Acknowledge that you have made poor decisions and ask God for forgiveness:

  • In order to see freedom in this area you need to recognise that you made poor decisions. You need to also understand that you cannot change what happened.. Dwelling on it will only invite guilt and condemnation. Give them to Christ and allow Him to bring healing.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

2. Walk through those memories with God and a mature mentor/counselor/pastor who has sound judgement.

  • Some of these memories are very difficult to deal with on your own. It’s best to walk through these memories with someone you can trust. Remember not everyone is equipped or mature enough in their faith and in life in general to truly counsel you in this area. You want someone who you know will be able to help guide you and encourage you.


3. Encourage your heart: Take time to read passages in the bible about people who God has used despite the poor choices they have made in their past and during their walk with God. 


  • Peter betrayed Jesus. He went from being overly zealous for Christ to denying Him THREE times. Peter was one of Jesus’ closest friends.. Can you imagine experiencing that type of betrayal when you need someone the most?? Still God allowed for redemption. After the Crucifixion and Christ rose again He asked peter if He loved him 3 times and then deposited in Him a purpose.. Purpose to do something that I believe He planned for Him even before the betrayal.

4. Make restitution

  • Exercise a tremendous amount of wisdom and seek God about who, when and HOW restitution should be made or even if restitution should be made at all. It’s also good to seek Godly counsel for this as well.


Now, remember there is no formula.. What God did for me could be different for you. But what I can guarantee is, if you seek God He will reveal Himself to you .. The bible says seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). The bible doesn’t say some of these things will be added, but ALL of these things.. When you surrender your past to Christ He is able to redeem it.

My prayer for you is that you reach out and grab what God has for your life..

1Pe 2:4 As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious,
1Pe 2:5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

If you have any prayer request, questions or comments you can either ask through Ask.Fm ( ) or shoot me an email at

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Very rich writing! Thanks for following my blog! I look forward to reading your future posts.

    1. Thank you! Your comment is truly a blessing, I look forward to your future posts as well. Personal Resurrection really spoke to me. The Lord has been highlighting the word Resurrection all day today so seeing your post was perfect timing!!

Leave a Reply